The train’s a cumming

March 8, 2013 1 comment


In more observations on the train, this strange flower, for at least 5 minutes, was gyrating and moaning with her eyes closed. These actions were mixed with some breast adjustments and a little moaning. Luckily she woke herself before climaxing. All in front if an audience of at least 70 people.

Personal grooming on public transport


So I’ve decided that freaks that travel on my train don’t deserve the same rights as normal people. Like the right to privacy.

So enjoy this hideous photo of a foot belonging to this crazy, dirty hippie sitting opposite me. Wtf!!

Totally gruntled

March 7, 2013 1 comment
English: Adam Carolla at 107.7 The End's Lonel...

English: Adam Carolla at 107.7 The End’s Lonely Hearts Valentines Party (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today I was listening to my favorite pod-caster.. Adam Carolla.

He raised a valid point that people are often disgruntled but vary rarely gruntled. Then I wondered, is grunted even a word? It has to be right? You can be dis-something if that something actually meant nothing? Wow, that’s a beautiful statement.

Well the ever exhaustive spell check (one of the things making us stupider every day, that and sat nav) thought that I’d made a typo.. yet the dictionary (do you kids know what that is?) defines gruntled as satisfied. There you go.

Anyway, I’m totally grunted with this post.


Today my wife asked me to take start taking vitamins so that I’d live longer. My response “why the fuck would I want to live any longer”

Ass clown defined

February 17, 2013 1 comment

There are no words


Categories: musings, rants

When you’re right, you could be wrong

January 29, 2013 Leave a comment

So I have a job, I know difficult to believe given the amount of valuable time I’m throwing into playing games on my iphone but yes, I work and have to interact with others and be civil and sometimes not be myself (sigh).

Anyway, this post is going to be quite dull (hooray) as the subject matter is.. well.. dull. But the gist of the tale.. for the last 4 weeks I’ve been telling people that I’m accountable to (stakeholders in the biz) that I’m going to do something. This something involves making sure that I ask someone else to do this something. Compelling reading. So, I confirm that this something will be done by the someone on 1 Feb, I tell all my someones (remember, stakeholders) that 1 Feb is the date. Then in mid Jan I receive an email by the someone telling me that 1 Feb is no good and this will be moved out to 14 Feb (Valentines Day, no relation). I read or at least think I read the someone’s email but completely fail to identify the message regarding delay. Then 2 weeks pass. I call my someone and say hey, you’ve got a couple of days till 1 Feb, looking forwards to seeing my something. They say, hey, I told you 14 Feb why the rush. I then proceed to build myself a pedestal, email the someone and the someone’s boss, saying hey, I didn’t get no god damn message about the delay to the something. See where this is going friends, cause I sure as fuck didn’t… The someone then re-sends me their email (that they’d already sent me 2 weeks earlier), saying please find the email telling you the something is getting delayed. The someone should have said, read you’re fucking emails, or how retarded are you, or can you read? etc. The someone was nice enuff not to rub my face in it but I still feel as dumb as shit.

Hooray for today. Tomorrow I get to tell my boss that I’ve fucked up the something and couldn’t organise my someone (which meant reading what the someone sent me, twice already).

How am I even employed. WTF.

Categories: complaints, musings, rants

Too old to play games on my iphone

January 20, 2013 2 comments

This evening I complain about myself. I find I’m  completely addicted to my iPhone like so many others. Not exactly an uncommon phenomena but I, for some fucking reason, play retarded time-wasting iPhone games like Simpson Tapped Out (up to level 26, why, exactly why??) and then have recently started playing the Hobbit Kingdoms of Middle Earth game which is basically a build your city, get an army, farm stuff and try not to get attacked by others.. by others, I assume I’m referring to 12 years olds working out their acne and masturbation issues.

So for the last couple of weeks I’m wasting good time building up my city (level 29), which also means I’ve again thrown wayyyyy too much time into an endeavour that gets me nowhere. It’s like when a guys spend their entire teen years with a needy, hot chick that they no they’ll never see naked and relent on being their best (male) friend for absolutely no put out.

Anyway, to the point. my pretend city gets attacked by someone called Captain Caveman (yep). So then, I attack him back, then he, then I, then he and wipes out my valued resources. All good fun, until the fucker sends me a message asking me “did I really think I was going to get away with it”. Well, yeah I guess. Then I thought, what a little prick, why can’t you just enjoy your victory. Then I respond to the effect or you’re a winner but your spelling (which was super poor, shit, hope I’m not insulting a retarded kid) indicates you may be a loser in real life.

Then.. this is where I come to the realisation.. what the fuck am I doing.. also,why the fuck do i care. It’s a game, it’s a stupid game and I’ve already wasted a stupidly signficant amount of time on it. Then the shame starts to hit. I’m not a child, and have a job, family, responsibilities and here I am getting angry at a mentally challenged millennial over an endeavour that I should be ashamed of being a part of.

Sigh and super big sigh. So I decided, blog it, get it off my chest and go do something important… like watch the last 2 eps of Fringe sitting on my DVR.