Inception Is Not The Best Movie Of The Year? WTF Is Celine Dion Doing There??

Anne Hathaway at the 81st Academy Awards
Medicated To Get Through The Oscars

sucked in every year

Why do I get sucked into the oscar buzz every year? It’s like dating some chick that you can’t stand every friggin year, she rambles on and on, isn’t interested in anything you think and at the end of the night… you don’t understand why you’ve again subjected yourself to torture.

So goes it with movies and actors that you like and deserve recognition for being awesome falling well short to the not deserving and yet by some cruel act of god (or man). Hmmm, it’s like Forest Gump winning best picture again over Pulp Fiction. I’m pissed off and I fail to understand why this keeps happening and further, why the fuck do I care? Sad.

ok, some introductory lowlights first

Every really bad joke told by every unfortunate presenter. Who writes this shit? I’m more inspired by the crap TV kids programs that my 2 year old watches. And poor Justin Timberlake get raped up there being forced to puppet the worst joke of the night. It’s like no one proof reads anything anymore or asks I dunno, a random stranger if this is chuckle worthy.

Poor James Franco, he seems like a nice guy but man, the crap that they force him to say, no wonder he looks so uncomfortable and stiff. Bad gig that won’t help his career. I bet he wished he could swap that experience for having his arm snapped in five places just like in 127 hours. At least Anne Hathaway appears to be heavily medicated (I’m guessing meth) to get through her shitbag of one liners, it’s like she even didn’t notice – good for her!

Celine (kill me while this stupid bitch is whaling) Dion performing the “in memorial” bit. Dead then having that crack whore princess shriek singing with my picture on screen… not what I’d prefer as my last living testament among my peers. So, so terrible. I don’t understand how she still gets work.

call it the people’s awards – who and what should have won…

Best Film: Inception. What is the academy so scared of? Rewarding a movie that completely deserves to win every award it’s nominated for. Or… is there a rule about not giving a movie awards that the academy stiffs simply didn’t understand. Not the best movie of the year huh? No probably not, best fucking film of the past 5 years more like it. And Leo… doesn’t even get a look in with like 100 guys getting nominated. Wow! who the fuck did he piss off? It’s just like every really good, slightly nerd focused movie that gets ignored.. let’s give it like sound, or special effects or sound editing or the bottom feeder awards just to keep them happy. If Harry Potter wins best film next year after Inception gets snubbed totally and completely, I’m going to cry.. and it’s going to happen, I can feel it.

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges who played a better Rooster than John Wayne.. ok, so you can’t understand a word he says but when you take the time to work it out, he owns screen time. Can’t give it to the same guy 2 years running? Really.. thought it was for best actor not… who deserves it this year that hasn’t won it for a while? Leonardo .. hold on, he was so bad not too get considered, fuck me. I’m repeating myself aren’t I. This year the gentle brit won it, at least he’s funny and humble about the whole thing.

Best Actress: Ok, they were right on this one. Natalie Portman is super underrated. It’s the whole star wars thing… Sci Fi and popular culture = oscar invisibility. Man, I’ve been totally into her since she was 11 (in the Professional), I’m sure that’s wrong.

Best Supporting Actress: The girl from True Grit who played Maddy Ross. They don’t give kids awards right… what about that stupid, unattractive chick from the Piano, she was like 12 (Anna Gap in Tooth Pacquin)? Just wrong in their pick again. She kicked ass in that role and who doesn’t like little girls bossing cowboys around. (kind of like hit girl from Kick Ass).

Best Support Actor: Ok, so I’ve like not seen many movies for the actors nominated but heard that Batman was super deserving of this one. Think this is the premium award year on year.. with Bardem, Waltz and Ledger winning the past 3 years and being like the stand out performances of the last decade.

I think next time I’ll save myself the 4+ hours of my life wasted watching tools nominate other tools and giving each other handies live on TV and instead watch potential nip slips vids on you tube.. hopefully of Mila Kunis – damn.


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