Cute Girls 1, Dumb Guy 0

Jennifer Hawkins presenting The Great Outdoors...
Jennifer Hawkins - Miss Universe

So I was waiting for a tram the other day. For those that don’t know what a tram is, it’s like a bus / train hybrid that moves very slowly, congests traffic as it shares the road with cars etc and has society’s unwanted traveling in them. Great fun and part of my daily grind.

Anyway, I was about to get onto a tram during morning peak hour. There would have been about 70 other passengers already seated or standing, waiting to pick me up so that it could move along its route. Just before stepping on, an attractive girl raises her shapely arms in the air to get the attention of the driver, she’s very cute, not a Sport Illustrated Swimsuit Model cute or Jennifer Hawkins wearing Lovables underwear cute (if you don’t know this reference, I suggested so stop now, get naked and watch her on You Tube) but worth a double glance. But like a lot of cute girls, annoyingly manipulative.

She convinces the driver to hold the tram (of 70+ passengers) from departing, so that her friend, who is more than 100 metres away (or a 2 min walk) can get on. WTF? She says in a mildly flirty, or maybe just dumb chick way “oh please sir, my friend is so desperately running (which she wasn’t) to make it here on time, can we wait a minute?” NO, I’m thinking, tell her to get stuffed, close the doors and pull away, why, because that’s your job and there are other people trying to get to their shitty jobs. As Costanza would say, it’s a society we’re living in.

He paused for a moment obviously confused or surprised that a pretty girl would actually be talking to him, he didn’t look like the type that got that attention very often. Then for a moment didn’t look like he was going to play ball, until of course he looked in the distance and saw that girl’s friend (casually meandering) to the tram WAS EVEN HOTTER than her concerned friend and wearing those very short short denim shorts.

That was it.. deal done, bags packed with the dumbest “of course I’ll wait dear” expression coming across the driver’s face. Myself, the cute girl and 70 other pissed off passengers waited (wondering why the hell our tram was stationary when we had a green light) for I swear 5 mins for the even hotter friend to get on board. She uttered a vague thank you to her friend, not the god damn driver who should have been facing termination.

This annoys me, why?… cause I could kill myself running for the tram, carrying a small child or one of those refrigerated containers marked “urgent blood” and still see the tram’s tail lights fade while the hot chick get to hold up 70 complete strangers just because the tram driver wants to think he’s in with a chance (right?).

Still all males fall victim to this. I too have shamed my gender with appalling acts of awkward stupid-ness. One example, while I was in my car in peak hour traffic, this stupid VW Golf (I hate those cars) starts to cut across my lane with no warning. My normal reaction.. RAGE, incessantly horn abuse and maybe even stepping out of my car for confrontation. What stopped me? The wind down of the offending car’s window, inside a pretty brunette raises a hand in the air, says “I’m so so sorry, can you please let me in, I’m so confused”. She smiles, I smile like a retarded clown, and I say “of course, you go right ahead”.

Cute girls 1, Us 0.


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