Should Nicolas Cage Still Make Movies?

Cover of "Ghost Rider (Extended Cut) [Blu...
Ghost Rider - Rubbish

I like Nichoas Cage.. well I used to, it’s a bit of a love hate thing and more of a hate hate thing in recent times. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not like a hate-worthy person at all and I’d be totally wrapped at any opportunity to meet him in person. If you wanna hate, I can help point you in the right direction – start of with singing cow Celine Dion, mega whores Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton, psychopath political leaders like Hugo Chavez, Col. Gadaffi or even Sergio Berlusconi. Anyway.

Poor old Nick is on a pretty bad run. With complete non-wonderful achievements such as “Season of the Witch”, “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and (I can’t believe a sequel is being made “Ghost Rider 2”, he’s very much a fallen soldier on the battlefield. Man, Ghost Rider was bad.. apart from a brief naked scene with Eva Mendes, that movie was completely unwatchable. His last 3 movies on Rotten Tomatoes scored 45% Drive Angry (is that a bad version of Gone in 60 Seconds?), 43% Sorcerer’s Apprentice… and get this, 5% for Season of the Witch. From memory, a % is still out of 100 right?

I get sucked into watching these colossal dung heaps (like some form of sick self torture) as I continue to reminisce on the highs from early in his career. But, I sniff the foul air, sense something bad is about to happen, then feel myself mentally throwing up in my own mouth. Ghost Rider in particular was so so so bad. Marvel had been responsible for some of the worst things I’ve ever seen and, this was their worst… and probably his.

I’m conflicted still and wonder how long it will take before I completely give up on him.  I don’t want to really to.. it’s kind of like breaking up with a girlfriend that essentially treats you bad for like 80% of the time but then occasionally is incredible (20%) and does something nice for you such as appearing in “Kick Ass” or “Lord of War” but then hurts you again with “Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance”. How do I know that one is going to hurt, read the below synopsis from IMDB… “As Johnny Blaze hides out in Eastern Europe, he is called upon to stop the devil, who is trying to take human form.”

So below is my list of dos and don’t’s when it comes to this once great (and hopefully soon to be resurrected to greatness again) actor.

DO: Raising Arizona, Adaption, Red Rock West, The Rock, Con Air, Adaption, Lord of War, Kick Ass (a rare recent one), Gone in 60 Seconds, Honeymoon in Las Vegas.

SO DON’T: Ghost Rider, Season of the Witch, Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Snake Eyes, 8MM, any god damn sequel to any of these movies (c’mon, don’t be stupid).

It’s a close race between the best of Cage i.e. Raising Arizona and the worst, Ghost Rider. I”m hoping he doesn’t go down the path of great actors that have already fallen from grace. Sad, very very sad examples are below:

Eddie Murphy – from Beverly Hills Cop and Trading Places to Dr Doolittle 1 to 7 and Daddy Day Care.

Steve Martin – from LA Story, the Jerk, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels to The Pink Panther and Cheaper by the Dozen.

Harrison Ford – from being Han Solo, Indy and Jack Ryan to that abortion Indiana Jones 4 and every movie he’s made in the past 10 years.

Come back to us Nick, make another version of the Rock, beg Clint Eastwood to be in his next movie or retire and please stop causing me further heartbreak.

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