Just Kill YOURself

Young woman's near attempt to jump off the Dav...
You can do it... alone

Why kill other people if you’ve decided to end your own life? Are you so full of hate with the burning need for vengeance that this seems like a good idea?

Here’s the thing. Suicide is the ultimate cure for your what ever is upsetting you. If your partner has left you or you’re a complete sociopath that is hell-bent on causing as much harm to others as possible, all of this pain dissipates the movement your fragile skull hits the pavement after launching yourself off a building’s ledge. No harm done to anyone else that isn’t involved in your miserable, highly depreciated life with the exception of the poor street cleaner who has to clean up the mess that your body has made.

Murder-suicide. It’s a sad thing that this is a term so common that everyone knows what this means without a second thought. I get being angry and the feeling that you want to inflict your perceived suffering upon someone who you feel has wronged you.. but if you’re going to kill yourself anyway, seriously.. do it alone, leave a note and don’t take anyone else with you. It’s a personal journey that you should enjoy all by yourself.

There was this thing in the news about a father that decided to throw his 4-year-old daughter off a very high bridge. Word is that he was deranged (no fucking shit!) and did this while his other children were sitting in the car wondering what where their sister had gone when the father returned. Ok, so he didn’t kill himself but… how’s this for a less tragic version of this story.

Man is upset, gets into this car ALONE, goes to bridge, parks his car, throws himself off the bridge and dies. I like this one better. Firstly, a person who should die, does. Secondly, he does this without causing too much damage or inconvenience to others and finally, no one else dies at this potential murderer’s hands. Sure, his surviving 3 children and wife may not get why this has happened but the alternative is that this sociopath takes out his family one by one before self-destructing.

Ok.. if you’re absolutely sure hellbent on killing others before killing yourself, can I suggest removing people who the world isn’t going to miss such as participants of a KKK rally or a serial rapist that gets off due to legal technicality or any of the Kardashian women.

Don’t be a selfish arsehole, just kill YOURself.


4 thoughts on “Just Kill YOURself

  1. Meh…if I’m killing myself, I’m taking the most people out with me.. I’m greedy like that…oh and somehow it will involve a Ferrari and a jelly filled donut, a roll of duct tape, a bar of Irish Spring soap and a 10 piece McDonalds chicken Mc nugget extra value meal with the huge french fries as a bonus… If you see all of these items, I would exit the restaurant…just sayin’….


    • I’m normally creative but can’t imagine how you’re combining these elements – weird science man. I’m just not into family members taking out their partners and kids all that much. Still, there are a lot of people that deserve to go (and violently) and I say, take em down by the armful.

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