Sometimes I feel that males (hey, maybe it’s not just males) have been forced to ignore the primal instinct for confrontation as it’s deemed socially inappropriate to punch someone in the face when you’ve been wronged. Instead of expediting the resolution process with a left hook or at least a solid bump, we opt to either weakly verbalise our displeasure (which is then met by similarly weak retort) or more likely, pretend ignore the situation which essentially means you’re pissed off and left powerless i.e.feeling like a complete pussy.
The legacy of not attending to your offender physically (or at least threatening violence) is that you’ve showing them that there’s no consequence of their bad behaviour. For example, let’s say your 8 years old and the school bully pushes your over and takes your lunch. You then cry and run away, the next day he does the same i.e. no consequence and bad behaviour continues. Same situation but this time you kick the bully in the knee, he goes down and is now the one crying. Next day you walk by the temporarily crippled and he runs (probably limps) away from you i.e. consequence and the little bastard thinks twice about doing this to anyone else.
Same thing could have applied to say Kim Jong Il… imagine little 8 year old Kim attempted to manhandle a 6 year old Lucy Lui and for his efforts gets the living shit kicked out of him. (You’ve seen Kill Bill). Consequence yes, afterthought possibly this.. I can’t seem to push around everyone just because I want to, maybe I shouldn’t grow up to be a tyrannical fascist overlord and plunge my nation’s people into abject poverty etc etc.
There’s the argument that violence doesn’t solve anything but isn’t it the most direct way to get your message across in certain situations. Life is too short to spend more than a minute trading insults with irrelevant people. Introduce their physical well-being into the equation and see how passionate aggressors are willing to engage you.
Case in point. I was looking for a car space on the busy street. I see a vacant spot and start pulling into it not realising that someone on the other side of the road (about 500 kms away) had their signal lights on before I turned in. Ok, seeing that this was my bad, I wound down my window and apologised then attempted to reverse out. Little did I know that as I’d already perpetrated such a heinous crime, I was in for the verbal rant of the new century. This guy winds down his window angrily. I could tell he was angry as he had the old school manual wind up/down windows and was attempting this motion a world record pace. Then begins this verbal attack…
Arsehole: “Hey you stupid fu#k! What the fu$k do you think you’re doing? Didn’t you f@cking see me indicating for that spot? What were you going to do, just steal my f^cking spot and think you could get away with it? You f~cking asshole, I’m going to f$ck you up.”
(By the way, it was the last “I’m going to f^ck you up” bit that made exit my car and proceed to his driver’s side window).
Me: “I’m so sorry, did you say something to me. Say it again, I’m here now and can hear you better. Go on.. seriously I missed what you said?”
Arsehole: (Breathing, heavy). “I ummm was over there and you just pulled out of nowhere and like.. “
Me: (interrupting) “I’m guessing you didn’t expect me to get out of the car. That was an a mistake. Now say what you have to say to my face. I want to see if you’re willing to back up your words .”
Arsehole: “What are you a fucking psycho?”. You want me to get out?”
Me: “Yep, get out, f@ck me up.. I’m guessing you won’t but, unlike you, I’m standing .” (At this point, I was thinking, lucky that I don’t live in LA, I’d probably be dead by now).
Arsehole: “You’re a psycho, you’re a f*cking psycho, you know that mate” (Mate? That was a bit of twist).
Me: “Ok, I’ll back me car out, you take your fu&king spot and I dare you to leave your f$cking car unattended. Go on. I’ll try not to come back and key the shit out of your car or wait for you to come back.”
Then I did as promised by that I mean, I backed out my car. Watched the gentleman take the spot and then sit in his car for about 5 minutes. How do I know he was sitting there for that long… because I parked my car across the road from his, stood on the side walk and watched him watching me. After that, leaves the car spot and drives away.
In defence of my somewhat non PC, socially unacceptable behaviour, I’d just like to think that he’s gained a little insight into what people are capable of when pushed.
- Bullying–What Parents Should Know (education.com)
- Drivers reveal horn-blowing stress (autonetinsurance.co.uk)