Today I was listening to my favorite pod-caster.. Adam Carolla.
He raised a valid point that people are often disgruntled but vary rarely gruntled. Then I wondered, is grunted even a word? It has to be right? You can be dis-something if that something actually meant nothing? Wow, that’s a beautiful statement.
Well the ever exhaustive spell check (one of the things making us stupider every day, that and sat nav) thought that I’d made a typo.. yet the dictionary (do you kids know what that is?) defines gruntled as satisfied. There you go.
This evening I complain about myself. I find I’m completely addicted to my iPhone like so many others. Not exactly an uncommon phenomena but I, for some fucking reason, play retarded time-wasting iPhone games like Simpson Tapped Out (up to level 26, why, exactly why??) and then have recently started playing the Hobbit Kingdoms of Middle Earth game which is basically a build your city, get an army, farm stuff and try not to get attacked by others.. by others, I assume I’m referring to 12 years olds working out their acne and masturbation issues.
So for the last couple of weeks I’m wasting good time building up my city (level 29), which also means I’ve again thrown wayyyyy too much time into an endeavour that gets me nowhere. It’s like when a guys spend their entire teen years with a needy, hot chick that they no they’ll never see naked and relent on being their best (male) friend for absolutely no put out.
Anyway, to the point. my pretend city gets attacked by someone called Captain Caveman (yep). So then, I attack him back, then he, then I, then he and wipes out my valued resources. All good fun, until the fucker sends me a message asking me “did I really think I was going to get away with it”. Well, yeah I guess. Then I thought, what a little prick, why can’t you just enjoy your victory. Then I respond to the effect or you’re a winner but your spelling (which was super poor, shit, hope I’m not insulting a retarded kid) indicates you may be a loser in real life.
Then.. this is where I come to the realisation.. what the fuck am I doing.. also,why the fuck do i care. It’s a game, it’s a stupid game and I’ve already wasted a stupidly signficant amount of time on it. Then the shame starts to hit. I’m not a child, and have a job, family, responsibilities and here I am getting angry at a mentally challenged millennial over an endeavour that I should be ashamed of being a part of.
Sigh and super big sigh. So I decided, blog it, get it off my chest and go do something important… like watch the last 2 eps of Fringe sitting on my DVR.
I’ve essentially worked out that what annoys me the most is having to regularly interact with other people. I’m not referring to friends, family and other people I know (although they can be annoying at times as well) but more specifically, people I encounter normally just the once but have a last impression on me and lead me to lose faith in the very essence of humanity, i.e. strangers.
In many ways this blog has been a diary of people that have pissed me off in a big fucking way, leading to rage. Let’s recap:
– the moron in the lie down bicycle stopping traffic on a major highway
– the homeless man telling me that I shouldn’t steal a dis guarded Care Bear soft toy, which I didn’t want
– the asshole who took wanted to throw down when I accidentally, almost took his car parking space even after apologising
– the elderly customer at McDonalds in line who insisted that I need to buy a Mc Happy Meal to get my football poster and that paying for it separately was not an option
– the guy that decides walking into my 2 year old (now 3) in the supermarket aisle would not result some sort of reaction.
I have more, many more recent examples that I just don’t have the strength to write about anymore. Essentially, I’m now in a place where I’m anticipating that people will act in bad faith before ever assuming they wont. As an experiment, I was driving in pretty heavy traffic and gave way to 5 oncoming drivers due to a car parked and blocking a two lane street, I made the point to carefully observe every driver passing. Question, how many provided (what used to be the customary) thank you wave or gesture of any sort? Answer, ready… 0/5. Point proven.
So, this is probably not news to any normal person living in today’s society of “get ahead” or “I’m no. 1! and you suck” undertones and I guess I’m retarded enough to believe people are essentially good and it’s only a small proportion of people that deserve to die horribly.
So I hereby proclaim that yes, pretty much everyone is fucking moron, and is out to piss me off and will never change unless I get physically violent and or remove them off the face of this earth. I’ve been delusional for too long and have to accept this as a fact and stop getting so incredibly fucking agitated by people that I shouldn’t give a fuck about in the first place.
Until I’m given the power by some spiritual force or government agency to kill strangers without damnation or punishment, I guess I’m just going to have to let these fuckers get the best of me and like the rest of you, tolerate and ignore people that should be dealt with brutal force as opposed to just being politely ignored.
Last year to the day, I was super annoyed that Inception didn’t win the Best Picture Oscar and hence through my rage, I started a blog to address this injustice in the hopes of starting a ground swell of public outcry to force the reversal of this decision. With a total of 3 readers rallying by my side, I couldn’t quite make this happen – sorry Leo my man.
Anyway, against the wisdom that I should employ in my daily life, I chose to watch the Oscars and found myself significantly less annoyed. I think I must be in a more apathetic place plus I think I’ve watched about 10 movies this year and can’t really cast an opinion on stuff I’ve not seen. To clarify, I saw one out from the nine movies nominated this year and that movie suck ass big fucking time. Guess.. anyone? The Tree of Life. Holy crap wasn’t this the most overated piece of confusing, mind bending and slow motion captured fluff ever made in the history of film? Surely with Brad Pitt and Sean Penn on hand, something signficantly more interesting could have eventuated (examples; se7en, 21 grams, fight club, carlito’s way).
So a few things I observed:
Jennifer Lopez is amazing for 42. I know everyone is currently obsessed staring at her nipples but damn she’s so pretty. I’ve come across this phenomena late in life (i.e. the last few years) and ashamedly discovered her watching Idol (there goes my one reader, dang it).
Billy Crystal should be forced to host every year till death. Sure he was corny at times but he’s leagues better than anyone else I’ve seen. After that dumb ass Cirque Du Soleil bit his “we’re a pony away from a bar mitzvah” line was funny, no? Am I the only one?
Meryl Streep is the greatest actor or actress of all god damn time (see The Deer Hunter). Name me a movie (be it great or not) where she sucked, one time..go on.. one time. That’s right MF, back off now.
I thought Nick Nolte was really good in Warrior. If you had to have an alcoholic father you could do much worse than Paddy Conlon (Paddy.. great name). And I get that a UFC based movie would never get nominated (snobs) even if it was like totally entertaining.
Why wasn’t The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo nominated for best film? Is wasn’t better than the horse movie. I really liked it and Rooney Mara was interesting – that rape scene was pretty rough to watch. By the way, if you’re sensitive to these types of scenes (and if you’re not, please stop reading and go find a bridge now) never, never watch Irreversable (still scarred).
I liked that Bret McKenzie (Conchords) won an Oscar for the Muppets (Best Song). Funny that there were only 2 songs nominated. I felt kind of the same way last year when watching Trent Reznor win last year. Guess they didn’t think much of the remade version of Immigrant Song with that chick from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (see below).
Anyway, probably not the most comprehesive review of cinema’s night of nights but then I’ve spent most of my last 12 months addicted to what I’m feeling is the Golden Age of Television. In my opinion, there’s a lot better watching to be had with the likes of Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Sons Of Anarchy, Community, Homeland. These are better than an movies I’ve seen over the past year.
I used to think the You Tube served no purpose except to waste people’s time at work. Not that it doesn’t and not that wasting time at work isn’t a noble pursuit but.. anyway I’ve quickly deviated off topic which is the frustration of having a keenly developed (or easily distracted) mind.
Anyway prior to be introduced to Australia’s most popular You Tuber (is that what a You Tube video poster is referred to? If not, copyright that), I really believed You Tube was for watching footage of Jennifer Hawkins‘ wardrobe malfunction or latest Lovable Lingerie TV ad. Again, if this is the second time you’ve heard this name from reading my blog and you still don’t know who I’m talking about, please stop reading and remedy this immediately.
How I discovered this You Tube juggernaut is not that interesting. In a nutshell, was looking up news on the latest Comic-Con and an amusing, self deprecating video of this Australian (yet suspiciously Asian looking) so incredibly excited to be in LA experiencing geek heaven first hand – I was most jealous but drawn in by her enthusiasm.
Here’s the summary.. Natalie Tyler Tran has the most subscribed channel (“Community Channel”) in Australia, she’s funny (of course that’s subjective, so please watch the below and form your own view), charming and her observations are strange yet mostly true.
I hope she gets her own TV show one day… truly talented, non Kardashians deserve success too – and Natalie does this without having a leaked sex tape.
“I’d like to dedicate this song that’s only popular in Germany to the people with the shittiest fucking seats in the whole stadium” Dave Grohl in Melbourne 2/12/11.
I was able to capture just a little comedic magic from the front man of one of my favourite bands on my iPhone.
I think I’ve mentioned before how much I love the Foo Fighters and seeing them play 2 an half hour show last week was a privilege. While this is might starting like a love song dedication that you’d hear on a shitty radio station, I think I’ve got a man-crush on the dude.
I was trying to think recently if I could trade places (you know like the Eddie Murphy /Dan Ackroyd movie), I’m not sure I could top being Dave. I mean, he’s 100% rock star, part of one of the best bands in the last 20 years (name than 5 bands that are better, I dare you), looks like he loves what he does, is totally fan oriented, is really funny without at all trying and is friends with Jack Black (who was also there with Kyle Gass).
Anyway, if you passively listen to the Foo Fighters or think “they’re ok but I don’t really know their stuff”, then you’re fucking moron and missing out. Listen to the 4rd* best album ever recorded “The Color And The Shape“, then listen to “Everlong” and if you still don’t feel something, seriously sign up as an extra for The Walking Dead.
And seriously, if you do get a chance to see them live (this time was my 4th), it will change you.