A lot of people say they like wine, I’m sure a lot of them really do. I think there’s a lot more people who want to say they do because by not drinking/appreciating wine, they appear unsophisticated to whoever the hell they’re trying to impression. As a guys, I get trying to impress a girl with your appreciation of finer things, I’d be more impressed with someone who liked good music, movies or coffee than wine.
Coffee is better than wine because:
1) You will never come off looking pretentious tool i.e. drinking coffee doesn’t make you better than anyone else, wine lovers often give this vibe.
2) If you drink 2-3 cups a day, you’re not a raging alcoholic who beats your partner and can still operate machinery
3) A latte should cost you less than $4/$5. Trying buying wine under than price and tell me you still like it.
4) No one gets to be made to feel guilty by a snotty waiter to order a decent bottle of wine with your meal, which of course will cost you more than your meal. I’ve never understood this, a good steak should cost more than wine.. hands down.
5) Coffee is not complicated. You don’t have to sniff (although coffee smells a whole lot better than wine), swirl it around in your glass and then mouth and explain its complex flavours, body blah blah. (wankers).
6) You don’t spit out coffee, unless it’s 100 degrees or made at McDonalds.
7) Coffee wakes you up while wine puts you to sleep (or when people talk about wine, I feel like I’m being put to sleep).
8) You eat breakfast with coffee. 9-10 times, if you find someplace that makes an excellent coffee, chances are your breakfast will be good as well. Only alcoholics put wine in their cereal.
9) You’ll never get dragged away on a very dull and completely pointless weekend away to tour coffee plantations. At a winery you have to pretend to be smarter than you are, buy a lot of wine because they’ve traveled hours to get there (so they might as well) and listen to wine makers rattle on about something that you’ll never remember or inevitability care about.
10) The number of road fatalities from coffee is – I’m going to guess closer to zero than wine related ones.