Hilton vs Kardashian, the battle of who gives a f%ck

Has-been.. with a lot of guys.

Slow news day when my local paper (by paper I’m mean my city’s newspaper website as it’s not the early 90s anymore) has as its lead story “Paris Hilton, Past Her Prime?”. So, while reading this I’m thinking… I couldn’t give less of a crap about Paris Hilton with the exception of say, Kim Kardashian. Wait, I’m in luck, this journalistic masterpiece ticks both boxes in a battle of who wants to be the biggest celebrity prostitute.

This counts as news huh? The worst thing is that I’m certain this article got a lot more hits (of which I have shamefully contributed one hit to) than an article on the worst famine to hit Somalia in 60 years which threatens to wipe out 12 million people. Guess that one wasn’t sexy (or slutty it seems) enough to get top spot (made it to 11th though).

So let’s examine this important news story in finer detail. Some ABC news guy (Dan Harris) asks Paris “‘Do you worry at times that people who have followed in your footsteps like Kim Kardashian are over shadowing you?”. She says “Not at all”. He follows up with ‘Do you worry about your moment having passed?” Then very maturely, she gets up and storms off.

I really like this guy’s work. He was probably thinking, I just wanted to be a real journalist and here I am interviewing this talentless piece of nothing that seems to have a spellbinding hold over my 13 year old daughter.

I don’t really care that she’s jealous of Kim Kardashian, or that she’s not as popular as she used to be. To be honest, I can’t really see the difference between them. Both contribute nothing but whorish influence on stupid girls and prove that if your dad has made a lot of money, you too can be idolised by scores of wannabes that are lacking serious role models.

Surely Kim and Paris really should have been allocated their 15 minutes of fame (i.e. homemade sex movies), then just like regular trash, been taken out to the tip and used as landfill. Unfortunately, like a bad STD (which I’m sure between them, they have the majority), they linger and cause much irritation. Seriously, can’t we just have them killed.

Related articles

• See Paris Hilton Walk Out of TV Interview (eonline.com)
• Paris Hilton Accused of Being Washed Up, Must Consult With Publicist (mediabistro.com)

Celebrity Prostitute Kim Kardashian

I'm a whore that deserves to die

Not that long ago, you actually had to do something or being talented to become a celebrity. I don’t feel this is the case anymore. Or maybe it’s just the definition of celebrity has changed. For example, if you’re a renown actor, sportsperson, musician, you’re a celebrity. Now, you can make an amateur sex tape, star on a piece of shit reality TV program or felate a president and you also become famous. Seems a bit unfair as previously you needed to have a skill or talent that people actually appreciated, now being a sensationalist whore gets you headlines as well.

I’ve mentioned previously that I really like to see Kim Kardashian buy a violent death. She’s a talentless prostitute who contributes nothing (actually she does but it’s all negative) and yet was the most searched person on the web last year. And, she made like over 40 million bucks as well. I don’t get this and I kind of don’t want to. She makes a sex tape which I have no issue with except she wasn’t very good in it. But here’s the thing that annoys me..  girls (and I’m guessing are really young, idealistic and impressionable) want to be like her when she appears to me to be the ultimate anti role model. I’m not a moralist but if I had a daughter, I’d not be wrapped her idol dresses, acts and looks like a street walker, who is essentially retarded and would have my daughter thinking that this is what boys really want and encouraging her to pop her cherry by the time she was 11. I guess Paris is to blame for similar influences. I hate her too.

There used to be a time when a total prostitute like Kim Kardashian would only get famous for say, hooking up with an A grade celebrity who was on a drug fueled bender and willing to fuck really anything that was presented in front of him. Then after waking up in a hospital bed resulting from both a near death overdose, coupled with the myriad of STDs that he got from his hooker hookup, would see clearly, apologise emotionally to the public and dump her in Guinness record time.

Then the fun bit happens.. there is then zero interest in her from anyone, press, fans, anyone. Realising this, she’s then replicates her ex’s drugged fueled bender but this time, no one gives a shit about what’s going on and she’s allowed, uninterrupted to funnel a death sentence volume of drugs into her pin cushion arms, is found throwing up outside a nightclub (of which no one cares enough to intervene), passes out in a nearby dumpster and then is found 15 days later, significantly decomposed. This picture gets out and is the last image we see and remember of her (then completely forget about say a week later).

I look forward to this fate be falling Kim and all of the sub-human Kardashians for the pure evil they perpetrate on the world. Then, we don’t have to put up with seeing her anymore. I’d like to see a version of her show called Burying the Kardashians. If only I could host and get to personally dispatch her, I’d be most pleased.