This is my very short list of things we don’t (but often feel that we should) say to people..
- I was looking at your breasts (to a girl wearing a low cut top)
- Excuse me, are you pulling me over because I’m ethnic (to a policeman or woman giving you a speeding ticket)
- Shut the fuck up (to your kids, even when they refuse to shut up)
- That’s because you’re a fucking idiot (to your boss who is obviously a fucking idiot)
- That’s an ugly baby (to the parents of an ugly baby)
- I think I can see the shape of your vagina (to a girl wearing those tights that have somehow replace pants for a lot of younger girls)
- You move, I’m just having a cigarette (to anyone standing outside that prefers to complain about you lighting up instead of walking like 5 fucking metres away)
- Just because you’re disabled doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole (to a disabled person that is really an asshole)
- I didn’t know she was underage (to anyone, ever)
- You only like all types of music because you don’t like any music (to someone that has no clue about music, like a Celine Dion fan)
- I can’t really tell if you look more like a hooker or a stripper (to a girl that looks like either)
- I am better than you that’s why (to someone who loses to you in any sort of competition)
- That’s because you’re ugly (to an ugly girl.. also works for that’s because you’re fat, dumb, a whore etc)
- When you leave you car there, I’m going to key the shit out of it (to someone that’s stolen the car park space you’ve been waiting patiently for).
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xeriouslywtf 
Really? This is stuff you’re NOT supposed to say to people? Well, live and learn! I say these things to people all the time, especially the cigarette comments. I live in a place where you cannot smoke under a roof (or awning) unless you own it and it’s on your private property. I’m not sure if it has gone through but this summer a law was proposed making it illegal to smoke in a public park! Whenever someone comes up to me and says “Don’t you know it’s bad for you?”, I reply “Don’t you know it can be dangerous talking to strangers?”. In a car park situation like you described, I carry a chain im my trunk. Someone steals my spot, I chain his bumper to a lamppost or the bumper of the car parked in fornt of or behind him.
Super list!
You’re braver than I.. only when pushed by the truly stupid do I retort based on what I’m truly thinking. Same rules about smoking here.. and I’m an ex smoker but still have empathy for smoker persecuted by overly sensitive, near death passive smokers who bitch unnecessarily. I’m getting a chain.. this is a profound solution.
You can also write a note to them saying that if it was not for them stealing your spot, you never would have parked next to Jessica Alba’s car. Now you have her number and you’re supposed to go over to her place for dinner later. Oh, and to make sure the note doesn’t blow away, nail it to his windshield.
I sooo like Jessica Alba. That made me jealous just reading your reply. Funny.
Very helpful post! Well done!
Ok.. I’m 29, does that mean that by wearing “those tights that have somehow replace pants” I’m not dressing my age? They are comfortable damnit.
Also, they only show the shape of my you know what if I pull them up to an uncomfortable height! 😉
I concerned that the comfortable reasoning will all lead us to wear your PJs outside. I’m trying to stop the revolution. I guess if you’re not using them for shaping purpose, you get a pass.